i don't plan on having that self control this summer
Is it wrong to scream your own name when about to bust?
You taught me that having a dip while u shit is awesome. I appreciate u for that
a commercial for my antidepressant came on and they said you shouldn't take if if you drink right as i took a shot
god is laughing at you again
How do I invite him to our 4th of July cookout without sounding too much like "hey you were my first orgasm and I want your dick inside my while watching fireworks"
I also would have accepted most things ending in "job", erotic favors, and food.
At 4am he sent "uree asss ize anmazin"
someone just laughed at me while i'm laying on the floor waiting for the bus. like they've never been hungover.
Chris threw beer can at guy. Guy ended up being a fighter. Chris got his eye socket broke. Fighter got hand re-broke. Chris is passed out. Fighter is in kellys bed. everybody won last night. I think.
I'm back here naked if anyones wondering
What do I do when my mom and I both awkwardly spot the Rocky Horror parody porn sitting on the coffee table? Leave it or try to move it?
I dont know it just seems wrong to fuck her on my exes back porch
I wanna riverboat gamble on your vaginal waters. Just sayin
You'd be proud...I've an early morning wake up booty call...he should be here around 6am ish...I told him to wake me nicely.
Do you remember feeding the vacuum doritos last night?
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