I just wanted to let you know that if you dont tell me to stop texting i will still keep on trying, you matter to me
restraining order is on its way, crazy bitch
my sex list reads like a who's who of mcdonald's general managers
Why would you say my penis is small in front of so many people?
If your pregnant with his baby maybe we can start getting weed for free.
I told her that I thought she needed an oral mammogram. With me being pre-med she bought it.
I just figured out, there are 9 children in this world that I can look at in the face and say "I fucked your mom."
You just kept walking around saying "my brain is soup" then sat on the kitchen counter washing your feet. You bit the guy that tried to help you down
I feel like all of the victims from Seven. Best birthday weekend ever.
Pretty sure I recall hugging our waiter from the bar last night. That also means we are NEVER going there again
i had a mental breakdown over a math asignment proposed to a glass of chocolate milk then burned my hands when i acidentally leaned on the stove i have the grill marks burned on my hands i can see them
its only been 20 minuts since i last saw you
I DESERVE A BEADED TATTOOED MAN I'VE WANTED ONE FOR SO LONG
BEARDED TATTOOED MEN ARE PEOPLE AND NOT THINGS TO BE GIVEN FREELY
Its 8 in the morning and I wouldn't pass a breathalyzer test, How's your day been?
Apparently mid making out I got up and said "I need to figure out my life" went in the bathroom and threw up for two hours.
He walked into the bar with a pillow and put his head down...nuff said
Sometimes I look at dogs and just thing about how it's weird we both came from wolves
Lay off the drugs kid
Randomize
