overheard a conversation between 2 lesbians: 'back when I used to have dick sex...' oh, vegas, I so heart you
on a scale of 1-10how much freaking out is acceptable if you just found a (possibly used) cock ring in the head board that your parents gave you?
Let's cut to the chase. What days are we sleeping together this week?
Accidentally gagged on my toothbrush and puked up a Walgreen's cheeseburger. 1) I am not going to be on top of my game tonight. 2) Since when do I have a gag reflex? 3) Walgreen's cheeseburgers are awesome.
I blacked out after running into my soc TA in the beer garden. came to dancing on the speakers at major lazer and making out with said TA.
He corrected my use of grammar... I think we both know that means i have to sleep with him
I'm going to pound you from behind over a table at the bar while I pull your hair and call you a whore...please pass along that message to Rob
Dude that chick had a dog in her car. Like when she goes bar hoping so does roofus. He gaurds the car.
My only regret this past weekend is abusing only 3 substances when I could have done so much more.
Do you think I could get someone from tinder to drive me to the airport?
I tried to have a quickie with him at the company happy hour. I think I need to quit my job.
not sure if destroying him emotionally was worth it but damn it's a fucking hilarious story
I found a new button on my vibrator, tonight was a success
you'll kiss me after i give you a blowjob but you wont kiss me after I eat apple sauce? am I the only one who sees something wrong with this?
A girl I had a drunken hook up with is on interventon right now
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