she's not even a shacker, she never made it inside. she's just a porch girl
The vibrator you gave me is probably the one thing I will never give up if we got robbed at gunpoint
we knew you were done when they played It's All Coming Back To Me Now by Celine Dion and you started crying
His roommate just snorted a line of Smirnoff off the desk. I could really fit in here.
He makes me wish my vagina was bigger... This must be what love feels like.
You cant carve pumpkins without vodka. It's a Halloween tradition.
I GOOGLED IT. BEES CAN MASTURBATE. WHAT.
You finished the fifth and then hid two dozen eggs around your apartment and declare that you would "quest for Jesus". Have fun questing today.
im lying in bed trying to choke myself out because being awake hurts too much
I told him we could fuck whenever was concurrent for both of us
Quote from doctor, "that is a VERY angry vagina".
I'm fucked.
Exactly best part of my night he took of his shirt and surprise traveler fanny pack
I slept on her porch...in her dads handcuffs
the most terrified I've ever been was seeing Danny Devito squirming on the ground in this underwear, covered in hand sanitizer, completely hairless
I'm sitting here with a band aid on my labia, this is a first
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