sometimes i wish i was a boob, they get to chill in soft and cuddly little cup things.
my momz letting me make the christmas card in photoshop
so that means christmas in space?
imma make our dead cats ghosts like obi wan kenobi
We decided to play beer pong where the loser had to beer bong a pitcher of beer...people just started losing on purpose. It was a bad idea.
I've been drunk in my life. But I've never been "crying in 5 Guys at 1 in the afternoon" drunk
She just cut the six pack plastic up and screamed "save the dolphins"..she also threw away cans of tuna. I like this girl.
His penis is small and he doesnt like Harry Potter. HE HAS NO REDEEMING QUALITIES WHAT AM I EVEN DOING HERE
Can't a white girl just get drunk on a Sunday night and eat rice crispy treats. SHIT
Friends don't let friends put redi whip in their wine
HOW DID ALL OF US MISS THE OBVIOUS: I'LL SHAKE YOUR SPEARE
I think I just pulled an onion peel off my boob from sleeping on their kitchen floor
Ok. I'm gonna smoke some weed and look at some elephants without you then.
I smell like bonfire and ex-boyfriends
I buy a new bowl every time I get a new guy. It's retail therapy.
You seem like the type to go to a craft sale baked out of your mind. I like you.
I mean his penis was perfect in pictures but its even more perfect inside me
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