i'm eating jello out of a teacup with a fork. awesome?
why did i wake up to an event notice that says "Shit Just Got Real"?
I just taped a plastic bag to my ceiling for the next time I have to throw up on the top bunk. Why am I so good at college?
so im sitting outside the gym eating a 20 piece nugget stoned out of my mind, convincing myself this is more productive because im so close to the treadmills.
theres a note on the fridge that says "guess what i peed in" and a half-full bottle of apple juice front and center. why did you let him in the house?
Drunk me cleaned my room for me. Needless to say our relationship has improved greatly
Watching the dude who probably knocked me up be all cute with his girlfriend on my couch. I am too nice, and I hate today.
Three Architectural classes: $990.00 Architectural supplies: $300.00 Changing majors and using my architectural supplies to roll blunts: Priceless
CAN I EVER JUST MAKE OUT EITH SOMEONE AND NOT GET FRIEND REQUESTED BY THEM THE NEXT DAY.
He carried you out but the best part is you kept saying "can't I keep dancing" as you were gushing blood
He's unconstrained by sanity, physics, or his liver.
did you just correct my grammar and then send me a photo of your dick?
Yeah, great now I will be tampon girl
He told me that he wants to fuck me only wearing a princess tiara...How could I possibly say no to that?
Just woke up to the cat unconscious on my stomach, his face between my tits, purring to bring down the walls. I'm endeared and horrified at the same time.
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