Down for casual relationships, more fun than catholic missionary, bring condoms and don't get attached.
everytime he calls himself the maxipad master i can't help but wonder what costume that would involve.
I am so hungover and cant move but craving a Wendys frosty so bad. I might have to watch 2 girls 1 cup just to settle the urge
I noticed how good my hair still looked. Apparently rum and coke in it helps it stay curly thru sex. May be using this more often.
It's been a wonderful constant drunkeness. We played Marco polo with some random like 8 yr olds in the kiddie pool.
At what point did you actually think that you could throw knives safely?
I think my mom knows im high. It could be because im slow dancing with my cat in the kitchen. The dip and kiss is what gave it away.
my roommate just said she thinks she got a flashback or some memory of me getting hit by a car.
The drug dealer had chickens in his house so I know it was good stuff.
The sex is great, I just think it'd be better if we listened to Deftones during it.
My neighbor is burning all of her ex's things in a metal drum outside the window. Guess who's going to make a new friend?
I'm getting paid over-time to sit on reddit and look at dicks and abs all day. I'm really happy right now.
We celebrated Cinco the right way. We took shots of 1800 then he fucked me while Selena was on TV in the background
Well, I was arguably the most sober adult in the house by 1 in the afternoon, so I'd say Superbowl Shitshow was a success.
She got a boob job, dumped her husband, became a stripper, got a DUI in her Porsche and is now dating her lawyer
I’m making her my life coach if med school doesn’t work out
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