I think I have a pornographic memory.
Don't you mean photographic?
No.
So J keeps drinking his last bit of drink, then spitting it out and drinks it again. Savor the flavor?
i had a dream last night that my liver tore its self out of my body and ran away.
you don't understand, he speaks spanish and is tall. i have to do him.
IT'S FRIDAY. So quit being a pussy, get out of bed, and come help me drink these 40s. That's not a request.
I hope no one at work will be able to read the "who wants body shots" on my chest. I forgot about it.
Can you explain to me the broken disco ball in my front yard?
Oh you know, we just bobbed for apples in a bucket full of jungle juice. So, a casual Tuesday night.
I'm sorry, you're actually right. Ostrich racing happens, and they're ridden like a horse. Bewildered and distraught.
he's had a change of heart. and besides, we could use a laugh.
oh, well, if you all need a good laugh, by all means endanger my life.
This tequila is so bad I might cry. I won't Throw up but I might cry
They said you went back in for 30 minutes and were walking with your arms out like an eagle soaring
This time tomorrow I will be drunk and in a voodoo shop
Lets just say the phase, What a dick, has a whole new meaning at the urinals.
I know you’re not my dad, but you’re someone’s dad. You’re also like a second dad to me as well. And one who I send nudes to as well. Happy Father’s Day
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