From behind she looks like Richard Simmons
so later when i'm crying over him remind me that he once called his penis "senor weeper"
a dead guy is trying to sell me oxy clean on my tv
remind me again why lemons and alcohol in the crock pot is a bad idea?
The horrors my penis has endured I wouldn't wish upon any man.
I hope my shame shaped pee stain outside your door goes away soon.
Last time I sleep with a guy with a penchant to fragrance his dick. Every time I sit to pee, I get a whiff of Axe body spray.
Hahahahahahhajahahahahajajjajahjahahajahahajajahahahajjajajahahjajajajajahahahajjjajajaahhahhahahahahahahahaha dominos taxi
Why would you hook up with someone whos known for peeibg in someones mouth
What's great about college is that i can eat chocolate cereal for every meal and call it a money saving technique.
HOW DO YOU GET TO BE A GROWN-UP AND NOT KNOW WHAT A DECADE IS!?
I just realized in a weird reversed way I hustled a stripper last night
I wish I had a Tina from Bob's Burgers in real life. She would be the best wingman.
He just got out of surgery, almost died from shooting him self with an arrow.
YOU ARE THE ONLY PERSON I KNOW THAT STEALTH CLEANS PEOPLE TOILETS
Randomize
