i'm sure there's a big cosmic reason for things working out the way they did. like, now you have awesome images to masturbate to.
I just packed a bowl in my room and use glad press n' seal to cover it so it wouldn't dump out in my pocket .
Thats the last thing I remember and then I woke up in this Dutch kids dorm and he was taking a picture of me while I was sleeping
Does the blue bra belong to your sister or cousin?
Yeah just got a blowjob at busch stadium during the cardinals game childhood dream realized
You told me you aren't worried about the police that you've been training for this an that the last three months of your life have been devoted to building up your stun gun tolerance and pepper spray recovery time.
I'll give you $10 to get a dick pic with a gecko on it.
She literally just changed his birthday. Overly attached girlfriend has nothing on her.
im In safeway buying a bottle of Ciroc in short shorts at 3:00 pm on a Monday, yeah I don't know either.
In case you're wondering what eggs stolen from an elementary school's chicken coop taste like, delicious. Delicious is what they taste like.
this temple that is my body is starting to crumble and turn into ruins
Would it be sad if I made a blanket fort to get drunk in till the power came back?
You have no idea how awkward it is fucking someone with the same name as your dog
I'm not sure of this happened or if it was just a dream... But I vividly remember you walking down the street naked?
No actually I had socks on...
omg girl... i cut your hair last night. tell me it looks okay!? i saw hair on the counter and i said ohhh nooo
Randomize
