hahaha! you have a girlfriend
tell that to the new girl at work who i screwed on the washing machine today...
i would totally change schools right now just to be that new girl everyone wants
Ate apple sauce off his penis. Nutritious and slutty.
I'm pretty sure the guy she brought home is a polish porn star..
She came to the party with six kegs and a life sized portrait of Lavar Burton. SHE WILL BE MY WIFE.
IM A DRUNK BIRTHDAY CLEOPATRA MESS. CELEBRATE THAT BITCH
Yeah. I was about to call 911 but I ended up breaking the door frame off then ran and puked all the way home.
I'd rather be castrated by angry chipmunks Than live your life for 24 hours
If you already knew specifically that I was smoking a bowl in my remodeled bathroom AND THEN still wanted to initiate sexting, please proceed to the altar and marry me this instant.
I walked in her room to find her rubbing lotion on her face high as fuck.
telling her she was ovary-acting wasn't the greatest idea. doing it in a text so she could see your spelling was where you really went wrong, though.
Was the first guy that bit your neck last night wearing a trenchcoat...I have a vague memory.
Dude hobos go hard. I learned a lot last night.
Easter was a success. We had an egg hunt and hid weed and conforms inside them. Cooked a ham, made some jello, got wasted. THIS is adulthood?!
Wow dude wow that's sad man so sad. I dno't event wanna massturbate anymore due to teh sadness
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