is drinking for groundhog day legit?
well you blacked out on MLK day and we pregamed arbor day, so yes
This morning my doorman told me it was an accomplishment for me to be standing and conscious after last night.
Life lesson today, a six foot hot guy I meet at a party CANNOT fit on my bike with me.
The cops forgot your handle of tequila when they took you away. Taking shots in your honor amigo
Listen man this isn't about soccer. It's about America and day drinking... Your two favorite things now get your ass over here
I'm sorry. But when a stripper driving a Bentley tells me I have potential..... I gotta at least listen to her proposal. God did not mean for me to waste these tits on law school.
she said she walked into the kitchen and i was sitting ass naked on the floor chugging her parents vodka.
Did i tell you my idea for my life plan? Not the one that involves stripping.
Do you think the firemen will remember me?
Yes. But you were sloppy, sobbing, and puked on two of them. You won't get in their pants.
I can't believe I'm giving you play by plays of this sexting convo. It's like a three way he doesn't know about.
We drunkenly built a couch fort and fucked in it. I've known her since preschool. This was every childhood fantasy mixed with adult dreams come true.
the hole that the tears left- fill it with pizza
Get off the floor, put away the cookie dough, get ur shit together Scott.
I guess I can check "drink alone in the dark" off my bucket list
I woke up with a giant paw print on the side of my face, my jaw hurts, and I have no idea how any of this happened.
Randomize
