): 100 percent naked, unless you count a tiara as clothing.
i woke up to 115 texts from him all saying "do you love me??"
then out of nowhere we heard a voice yell "Fuck that pussy!"
If I can't get slightly excited by the thought of his face between my legs then I know I can never sleep with him.
the mexican frat downstairs started singing this mariachi song, then out of nowhere some dude busts out a trumpet and plays along. is this even real?
It was one of those nights where you get back from the bar and end up staying up till 3AM beating off to facebook photos of girls from college
It was like coming out my mothers vagina again in slow motion
I say that because you at one point were like a mama spider covered with baby spiders only you were a man covered with strippers.
Gross! What the hell is that?!?
It's quite clearly a man posing erotically with multiple packages of bacon.
I think we ended 5-7 relationships as well this weekend...so another good stat
You're not talking any sense into me. You're cheering me on to disaster.
... is that not half the reason I'm your best friend in the first place?
I'm literally naked with a whole pizza in my lap sitting in my chair.
i cant hook up i'm covered in egg rolls
Is it acceptable to bring pot to a funeral or am I going to have to do this shit sober?
Who brings a stripper to breakfast at the dining hall? What was the plan? Impress her with his meal plan?
Randomize
