How is your vagina???
Double booked
With your butt?
Totes, candlesticks and all
Yay!!
Apparently I masturbate in my sleep now.
you are the sluttiest virgin ive ever met
thanks it was an honor just to be nominated
I don't think requesting him as a BBM contact is proper protocol following vomming in his bed.
Even after projectile vomiting watermelon on the beach, it still sounds appetizing.
I feel like I shouldn't be doing my banking stoned. But I bought a new bowl. Her name is Sharpe. Pronounced Shar-Pay.
plan d- we get drunk, go see that Justin Bieber movie and freak out 13 year old girls.
I need the number of a restaurant that delivers, has lock-picking abilities, and is okay with full frontal male nudity. Entirely too hungover to get out of bed.
You're a disgrace to the female race and the love triangle and halloween.
Also I think I'm starting to get calluses on my hands from my level of sexual activity
Clothes make me feel like a responsible adult and that's just not something I'm ready to handle.
There is a midget in cheetah face paint on a leash here
Do u ever find yourself high af, watching American ninja warrior and crying at the athletes stories?
They asked me my level of pain at the hospital and I told them I called my ex 6 times
I was trying to come up with a reason why you shouldn't be naked in front of me, and now I have 'If you give a mouse a cookie" stuck in my head
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