We were tigers and tigers don't wear pants
i learned of a new sex move called the pterodactyl. 3 guys stand in a row. 1 girl blows the one in the middle while jerking off the other two. kids these days!
Yaeh! Back in our day we had to wait our turn for some party whore to blow us!
well there you go. the average partycunt evolved into megapartycunt just like scientists predicted.
Just saw 30+ dicks. Explain later.
Can you bring me a pair of sunglasses to the bathroom please... Don't judge me.
as she was beating the hell out of his ex, she screamed prison rules, and smashed her head with a beer bottle. I'm oddly afraid yet so attracted to her now.
during a bj, his alarm went off and he said "At the buzzer"
making an indian outfit so we can be pochohantas and john smith and fuck in the canoe on the night float
I'm at work. It's margarita night. Someone literally just shouted "MURICUH!"
God bless us, everyone.
I've been randomly kik messaging bearded men I find on Instagram while sitting unshowered in my underpants. I'm like the girl version of a creepy uncle.
I hopped in a random dudes car outside the strip club at 3pm on a Sunday and said "Follow that car!"
By the way, just opened the browser on my phone for the first time today... And it was it the "images" section of "who invented ass fucking"
So thanks for that
Unless he's under 18, in which case you put him back where you found him this instant.
Enjoy the penises
I still have that dildo-suction bruise on my forehead and this sweater STILL smells like my Christmas Eve vomit.
Highlight your past hook-ups. You've been stabbed, shot at, run over, and chased down the road...no you can't bring new bar bitch over here!
Dude she has a friend!!!!
Randomize
