Every time he makes fun of me for anything I just remind myself he ate ice cream out of a strippers vagina
im doing shots everytime lil jon says it in the song shots....blackout town here i come
Her life must suck. All she's got is "Miss Shamrock" WHICH SHE LOST!
the ex, the guy i cheated on the ex with and the rebound are about to form a beer pong team at my party. is it bad i feel accomplished my pussy brought their union together?
Watching Argentina vs Germany during a wedding on an iPhone. Thank you Steve Jobs.
I think it is impossible 2 take a person seriously when their last name is Pancake
Dude, somewhere around here makes 4loko slushies. I just decided coming home isn't so bad.
Iranian Rapper, camaroonian basketball player, mexican i forget and indian doctor....this one looks the best on paper.
We have sex, then we talk about foreign policy. Its a win-win.
he has a party story that rivals our "PTSD- soldier-with-a-knife" party story. I'm pretty sure this is part of some prophecy.
sexting foreigners is the best. they respond with silly things like "love that tits"
I actually haven't slept with anyone in a while. I think my whore phase is just seasonal.
HOCKEY BUTTS AND BASEBALL BUTTS HONESTLY DO SOMETHING TO ME
Nothing says happy Monday quite like coffee and oral sex.
I made out with that lesbian chick for a blunt. NO REGRETS.
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