If I die tonight, wear a V neck to my funeral.
It's 10am, I'm at grocery store buying booze b/c the bf just told me that he didn't "technically" break up with his ex.
I'm pretty sure a girl doesn't give it up with a reverse cow girl...
I don't remember. Are we still dating?
i wanted to tell my neighbors to shut up it was 4am, but listening to her rag on him for his minute man routine was actually entertaining
and honestly a story about how you met your future husband that DOESN'T include the words "creeped him on facebook" is really not a story worth sharing
i love that youre following in my footsteps.. pissing yourself on your birthday is an honor and a privlege
and i think wearing the clothes from last night are out of the question...was there mud wrestling there? because i look like a participated..with a cat.
I wonder what chicks would think if they learned that when we add them on fb we email their bikini pics to each other.
I'm sorry I peed on your everything.
So what exactly does one do when my driver gets a DUI and is now arrested and I'm still hiding in the trunk?
Do you think kicking my coke habit is a good personal goal to put down on the evaluation form?
Now go get drunk with your fam and get back into ur christmas groove. No time for gonnorhea
Being home for break is weird, just had a full convo with my dad about what I wanted for dinner, while a dildo was on top of me under my comforter
Did you poop on the roof?
WTH?
Is that a no?
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