She went to college and exploded out of the slut closet.
I just saw a commercial for "tickle me elmo hands" and I am almost 100 percent sure that at the end elmo said "yeaaaaa boooyyyyyy"
I have some memory of taking a dump in a guitar case.
he had a dikembe mutombo jersey on, was swatting peoples drinks out of their hand and wagging his finger in their face everytime he did it.
Something strange is happening to me, I think I miss hooking up with girls sober
Someone apparently named 'eleaw' just text me asking if I had fun last night.
I honestly wish you had parked the car in the terminal garage and fucked me in the backseat but I guess I should be more forward
He was dressed in a pink dressing gown feeding people ketamine from a plastic sword he called Excalibur. how was your Monday?
Couldn't find any balloons, so we're doing whippets out of condoms. Being a ho has its benefits.
hooking up with him was much more fun when i knew in the back of mind we'd get in some sort of trouble for it
Hey, YOU try working out drunk every night! Besides, I think at least one of those bruises is a hickey.
Just took acid. Wish me luck.
I worked out twice today and you're dropping acid. My life sucks.
He sends me the same inspirational quote quotos that my grandma does. I no longer want to tap that.
Is it too forward if I ask him to bring a condom when he comes over to work on our project?
I can't be sure but I think I slept with a clown last night...
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