It's 10am, I'm at grocery store buying booze b/c the bf just told me that he didn't "technically" break up with his ex.
everything was goin great until he pulled out his ed hardy lighter and smoked in my face like he was cool.
it's like you attract all the douchebags that nobody wants. people should thank you.
hot pretzels for dinner, snacks, and now breakfast...oh to be a poor college student...everyday is like a carnival.
Theres just something about looking at pictures of your dick in church that doesn't feel right
You always know it is going to end badly when a guy asks if he met you at a "coed naked lawn bowling party"
Dude, I fucked her last night with nothing but my bandana on. Like straight Indian chief style.
i climbed out of the bath tub this morning and found him taped to the treadmill
Just came during my obgyn appt. I need to get laid.
Sadly him cutting me out of the duct tape dress was NOT the most awkward part of the night. It was a littleeee moist under there.....
And then I told him since the day he walked away to get over what I went through he lost the boyfriend right to ask why my bed is broken.
I take full pride in being the one that broke ur bed. Want to go for the sofa?
And regarding bottomless mimosas stopping at 1 pm, there was a chick who drove her car into the back of the bar. Blame that bitch, not you peeing in the koi pond.
That's a lot of people she's fucked in one picture.
We trekked into the state forest, laid the comforter down and he proceeded to tell me that we could stay here and stargaze, turned me around and fucked me like the lion king.
You know for a guy who frequently jumps into stuff without thinking it through, your can do spirit is lacking on this one
I know what I want to do this Friday. However, it might end in me getting kicked out of an arcade and a mini golf course.
Randomize
