I went out, and slept with my sunglasses on
My mom came into my room and told me to flip off the tv. I gave it the middle finger. Note to self: STOP SMOKING THIS SHIT
i just remembered that i beat off next to you while we were naked and passed out next to each other after last night... No Homo
the new roommate knocked on my door this morning holding a bong in one hand and my dennys leftovers from last night in the other. love this kid. Best student housing placement ever.
Just heard this lady walk by on her phone saying "did everyone orgasm?"
I think it is impossible 2 take a person seriously when their last name is Pancake
I tried to put the left over margartia in a box for you but they wouldn't let me
there is an extreme lack of margarita in my mouth.
what whaaaat?! I BET YOU WIN IN THE TEETH DEPARTMENT.
When i say that im working late and also have a paper to write before 9am tomorrow all i want u to respond is saying that ur gunna come over and sexually distract me from my responsibilities. Not a fucking frowny face.
Sorry. Im on my way.
When you are old and getting humped by saggy balls every other weekend you are gonna wish you had more sex with freshly legal boys. Your vagina will thank you one day. Don't let her down.
How do I ask where the Jello shot cups are at Walmart without sounding like white trash?
He really only has clothes, like 4 boogie boards, and a bong here.
he accidentally put it in my ass, i liked it but didn't tell him that and "accidentally" took his weed.
You walked right into the door. Even the door guy and security guys were laughing.
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