the size of his penis is telling me NOOO! but his bank account is telling me YESSS!
All i have left of him are the magnum X-Large condoms he left in my room, knowing full well that no other guy I hook up with will be able to fill his shoes. He taunts me.
Nicole, you can't keep coming over at 3am wanting to build igloos.
It's all sex hats and vagina bandages with you isn't it?
not totally sure where im at but i think i've definitely woken up on this couch before. bong on the coffee table looks familiar. should be able to find my way home
Well after the shots I danced with a homeless guy, split my toe on broken glass, and had a 20 piece mcnugget. Who says postgrad life is boring.
you are like the bill nye of illicit activities
I think weed is turning my hair brown
She made me a smoothie in the morning.. It was vodka and fruit.
You're just a heartbreaker with a knitting problem
Wow two curved penises in one weekend. I feel like this may be good luck. Like finding a four leaf clover
Text me later if you aren't dead and wanna have a drink later
The couple in the apartment next to mine are both opera singers. I’m never sure if I’m hearing them banging or doing vocal warm-ups.
I promise it wsnt a penis when i put it in my mouth
It was platonic naked porno viewing, I swear.
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