yeah. and then it was like the room of requirement. the elevator just opened for our threesome.
Almost accidentally stole a baby... explain later
I miss your penis. And I totally say this as a friend. I just miss it because it's great. You should be very proud of it.
I just smoked pot in front of my old Elementary School. It's like my Childhood and Adulthood are coming together in this awesome thing.
I think I ruined Robin and Mikes anniversary. I walked in on them fucking, accidentally broke the necklace he gave her, and I stole the keg from their party. Not in that order
The liquor store wont accept checks from us anymore.
He's the kind of drunk guy that would pee in your mouth while you give him head.
Imagine Captain Hook, but in penis form and sometimes shy.
ask me again when I'm sobewr aka tuesday
I'm convinced that the Christmas lights in my room contributed to the great sex.
seriously, i never want to drink Robitussin again. her face was melting as i tried to convince her i wasnt high and i probably would have fucked ray. his parents thought i was a sweet charming lesbian.
This is why you are not allowed out in public.
We were at dinner and dad asked me to pass the salt and I suddenly remembered doing body shots when I was blacked out last weekend.
I'm glad you enjoyed the night but why were you calling me "daddy"?
is it bad that I'm more worried about having to take out my piercings than the fact that I might be having a kid
It was like he was 23 all over again. Madness. I. was. so. scared.
Randomize
