I changed my tire completely alone.. I could totally win survivor
Its my greatest physical accomplishment
hipster in red sally jessy raphael glasses inside. kick her.
i hate this class. from the way they're all staring you would think they've never seen a girl in basketball shorts, heels and sunglasses.
Her breakfeast in bed consisted of half a pop tart that I didn't want, and water that I slipped birth control into... Who says chivalry is dead?
Don't judge me. It was less weird than it sounds when we were in the moment and it was his birthday
couldnt find a condom. used a surgical glove instead. actually worked and the sex was great. thanks nursing school
he just kept saying "come on iron man, you can do this!" to himself the whole time..
You can buy vodka at target here.. Maybe Missouri isn't so bad after all
And theres a reasonable expectation that if you're fighting over a pair of yoga pants on the ground at VS someones gonna videotape it
I asked him how his night was and he sent me a picture of a bottle of Ciroc with a bendy straw...
I just finished spraying the foam party off my pumps with a garden hose
Literally sitting on my bed in the dark trying not to throw up
The good news is I woke up fully clothed, on top of my covers, with a half eaten granola bar. So, breakfast was waiting for me and I’m already dressed and ready to go today.
there is such a gross feeling of satisfaction when the married guy i used to hook up with likes my facebook status.
It's not just going to appear. A lot of blood, sweat, tears, and leg work went into finding a cock that amazing!
Randomize
