My penis is the apex of life and all other references. Lookin for a cheap vagina at this point. And cheap Korean BBQ
Girls behind me in the library are trying to outslut each other with stories from last semester. I'm about to set my cock on the table between them and label it "tie breaker"
I walked downstairs and there were 50 sorority girls. I wasn't expecting an audience during my walk of shame.
Apparently the library doesn't care about celebrating the day Jesus became a zombie.
You know what is really helpful - when the two guys you want to fuck stand next to each other. Stay tuned for who wins
i don't know. but im upstairs in the closet with a burger i found in their fridge
I had to jump out of her car while it was moving enough said
That big chick who gave you the handly polished off one of the walls to the ginger bread house right before she came outside. FYI
We built a fire and had sex in the kiddie pool. Then he washed my hair
Strong work
After I finished inserting the catheter he said he thought my name was familiar. Didn't have the nerve to tell him he was my fifth grade teacher.
So the doorbell rang while we were banging, and I'm pretty sure the pizza man saw my dick. But hey, we got pizza.
Can't trust a bar that doesn't have fireball
My face feels like a midget just gave birth to quintuplets
lets face it, we have a liquor cabinet with a designated chocolate shelf
It’s just hard to believe you really care about me when u haven’t touched my dick in 2 months
Randomize
