Can one do a walk of shame from one's own hotel? Considering I just barfed in a planter down town in from of a bunch of business men in suits on my way to a work breakfast on a Wednesday morning, I am gonna just go with yes.
I don't know how this happened but I got an email thanking me for being a Waffle House regular. HOW DO THEY KNOW?? Maybe I need to stop going there shitfaced.
just upgraded from jello shots to jello bowls blacking out just got that much more delicious
Even water is tasting like jack daniels
I would like to apologize for my MANY attempts of trying to motor boat you.
They left me passes out in the food donation bin with an empty handle and a half eaten box of nutter butters
From scraping the remnants from a coke bag at a lingerie party to meeting with an 80 year old man to discuss civil rights all in under 12 hours bizarrely feels like the epitome of my life
I am stoned and listening to the Olympics music I downloaded on Saturday. Best 6 dollars I have ever spent.
Nah, this is the University of Tennessee. She'll get the clap, and get busted for having pot in her dorm by spring break. This time next year she'll be part-timing at a community college as a nursing major. So predictable it hurts.
I feel so nauseous and all I want is string cheese. My life never makes sense.
Is this the guy that did shots off my ass at the beach? Haha
I can't believe i lost my ID... bringing my birth certificate to the club was a weird experience
Couch. On fire.
I just saw a guy faceplant off a unicycle while holding a saxophone, while his buddy riding another unicycle and sporting a flute rode by laughing
Only at UConn...
Double high-fived his wife and her sister on the way out. If I'm not the best mistress ever tell me how.
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