I have had sex with more partners than how old he is.
I just saw the girl you left with - Chris Hansen's looking for you
So from the residue on my balls I think it was mashed potatoes she had in her mouth
grown man stumbling drunk down green street wearing nothing but a hot dog costume and crying. its not even noon yet.
i was wearing footie pjs. how could there be confusion as to who i hooked up with, thats not something you forget
Don't worry. This time I'll get black out drunk so they'll just think it's an American thing.
I was high and he had on a gorilla suit. Of course I had to take a picture with him
Your a disgrace to smokers everywhere
He told me I was 100% better then porn then passed out nto the cake
I'm two sheets to the sexual wind
My alarm went off and I went straight for your dick. That's dedication.
When do you sleep by the way. I was surprised when I went to work at 1 am,left at 7 am and had a text from you somewhere in between
I just vodka nap now...
i warned you not to do dabs 20 minutes before graduation. You never listen
Of fucking course I get my period on Valentine's Day...
Ewe he just snapped me a pic of his butt crack.. Should I be concerned?
I was so drunk I got motion sickness from sex.
Randomize
