my life trainwreck boards at 9:30
Welcome to my life. currently drinking beer through two straws. easier/faster that way.
did we cross streams again? the only thing I remember is seeing a dick
couldn't find my pants so i stole a pair of shorts from the passed out kid in the corner.
I'm so hungover that if we go to panera, I'll probably get a bread bowl to throw up in.
I am one Jewel song away from suicide watch
I'm in a waiting room at the hospital - and there's a dude here who is WAY too proud of his urine sample.
The best part about drinking boxed wine is you can blow up the bag and use it as a pillow
I will be going to walgreens soon.. nothing says trainwreck like pickin up a scrip for xanax at 2am drunk..
Hold on, I need to find something to wear that says "I don't contribute to your daughter's drug problem"
Doug will be the one to get my vagina. I don't know when or how but I'm now declaring that it is his. And he better not disappoint.
I was struggling morally, but once I let go, I came pretty hard.
My aunt asked how many piercings I had and my mom said seven and I said nine and that's how my family found out I had my nipples pierced.
Well I've always wanted to get head while playing WoW...
K I'll do it, but mine is going to be WAY weirder. Your not allergic to shellfish, right?
Why do I always have at least 8 men with whom I am conducting some sort of poorly planned love experiment?
Randomize
