the new term for farting is butt boxing.
so he just left - touched my cheek like he was gona kiss me and then gave me a fist bump?
I want to dip my vagina in sugar. Not only will it be sweet, but it will have a nice sparkle.
imagine a blue Jetta with an ILLINOIS license plate that read JISLORD..... upon pondering it for 10minutes I came to the conclusion that J stood for JESUS and IF the license plate had enough room it would read "Jesus Is Lord"
I'm pregnant just thinking about him.
he tried to convince me he was a seal.. sound effects included. and then asked me to 'be his lady seal'.
I was trying to be really smart and save 10 dollars for each cab there and back. ...so I ripped a $20 dollar bill in half.
It took him three days to realize his roommate had moved out.
He puked in the funnel and continued to chug it. Who is this dude?
If you were curious as to how many pounds of bagged marijuana can fit in the trunk of a 2010 Chevrolet Aveo, we now have the answer
The president of the frat said he was honored to award me "Best Overall Blow Jobs", free admission to all their future parties, and a $20 gift certificate to Denny's. I'm not sure if I feel proud or if that's just the burrito coming back up...
Also, what are the symptoms of syphilis?
When i'm home next we need to get baked and go to waffle house. I want to see if the waitress can still guess my intoxication level and what i'm about to order before i even make it to the table.
Any recommendations for how to tell your wife about the pics of her 19 yr old sister on a porn site without admitting you were surfing said porn site?
Her neighbors? They're nice. Young family. Tried not to get puke on their side of the lawn.
Most people would agree that it IS in fact slutty to give someone head for free ice cream.
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