Have fun with your cool freestyling girlfriend!
She can rap better than you any day
you only like me because i go down faster than a bridge in minnesota
his balls ACTUALLY tasted like nuts
I seriously need 2 stop fake jacking off in peoples faces at work...the I.T. Guy just showed me the security surveillance tapes.
there really is only one way to give a PowerPoint presentation in your senior capstone class: still drunk.
pretty sure i saw you masturbating on chatroulette a minute ago. yes, i can recognize your cock
I THOUGHT I SAW YOU
He honestly told me my belt was "supercute" when we started hooking up. I would be the girl to find the only straight man in the world that uses the word "supercute".
The amount I want to die right now is not proportionate to the level of fun I had last night. Not fair.
I was gonna tell her, but there were too many tongues in my mouth
Just got offered cocaine at ihop. Stay classy America.
Have you ever gotten so angry that you stripped in public?
We figured you were on something when you said that your nipples couldn't hear the music.
Omg the sex was so good my ears popped. Thank god too. Cause then I didn't have to hear him going on and on about his dumbass feelings. It's called a booty call bitch.
He told his wife he was too old to pretend to be straight. She tried to argue. He walked two tables over and was like this is my highschool sweetheart and he's an excellent fuck, we're running away together. It was epic.
The ass gains better be worth it
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