Currently in a meeting. i am playing the not throw up game. god i hope i dont lose.
that last vodka shot was definitely the straw that broke the camels alcohol tolerance level
Just wandered into a surprise final. Only a surprise for me though. I wish I could say this is the first time this has happened.
he made a bald eagle out of coke lines
Typcal friday morning so far. Puke, shower, commute/puke, coffee, puke, coffee, bagel, good to go. Lunch today?
I think that's the key to being an adult though... Get those rapid fire beer shits out I the way early, then you can go about your grown man business
As its breast cancer awareness month, I'm going to do my part by making everyone aware of my breasts
okcupid is pretty much insisting i hook up with this chick who looks like andy milonakis.
All i remember his him yelling yahtzee while pouring beer down her shirt .
I couldn't do it. You can't break up after that many orgasms. It's physically impossible.
She actually purred while I was balls deep in her! I have never been so proud to buy plan b at 6:30 in the morning.
Let us ponder on the good times. Ya know when the Jonas brothers were incapable of growing facial hair and I didn't fully understand what a dick looks like
So, in keeping with the last two years, are we going to watch the new Hobbit movie on acid again? It's kinda starting to feel like a Christmas tradition.
Someone needs to lock me in a chastity belt because all my vagina does is get me into trouble. Fuck.
Validation I posted a good pic? The lonely fuckboys send out the booty call signal. Of course I answered the call; Gotham needs its hero.
Randomize
