Woke up with pink eye in both my eyes. That's how the threesome went
I just realized that two weekends in a row we ended up in a bathroom with two different boys asking us for a threesome. does this happen to everyone?
BIGGER SANDWIJH COME NIW OR DIE
The moral of the story is do not hire me because everything will end up smelling like pickles and I will not sufficiently clean it up.
Tell me not to purchase 500 ball pit balls and a kiddy pool
No
ok it turns out chain mail does not protect against falling down a flight of stairs. please send help.
We're like adult pinky and the brain when they decided that taking over the world is unrealistic so they aim lower by trying to get drunk every day.
I have the liquor shits and this time, it's personal.
For a girl who cried from fear the last time she was asked out, this. Is. TERRIFYING!
I should probably eat a Plan B. Pill for breakfast. Happy Halloween.
I don't trust him but hanging out with him might be fun
he's literally satan but yeah probably
I have to choose between charging my phone or my vibrator. This is bullshit.
You were cussing me out in sign language, and slurring your signs.
That's some kind of record drunk there...
Just dropped the most perfectly rolled joint into the toilet I just finished taking a shit in, hadn't even had time to flush, 5 second rule?
No!
Tanner. All u drink. 10 bckaa. Locked in Porto potty outside. Constructed area. Main strrrreeeett. Fuck. Help. Pleese
Randomize
