Whatever. They have the same name, so it's not even cheating. It's brand loyalty.
Booyah. Found 8000 pesos in my closet and that's apparently 608 US dollars
Caught my drug dealer jacking off. I think this is a new step in our relationship
You totally left a blue butt print on our banister
Well I think we can all agree that that's better than then bowl of puke I left last time.
I know. I need to get a vagina tranquilizer.
i sent you a picture of beads you send me a picture of boobs how hard is this to understand
I was just laughing and almost crying after I orgasmed, and then almost crying because I was laughing so hard. That's new.
Does he think you're psycho?
Officially...... yes.
I just looked at your pics on Facebook....there was cake? Where the fuck was I!?
You chucked an empty vodka bottle against the wall and yelled "Everyone calm the fuck down, it's just the cops." After 10 seconds of silence I looked over and saw you pissing their fountain.
You left me a voice message at 5 a.m. It was mostly incoherent noise, you screaming my name and then something about a man with two butt holes...
Or maybe I'll just keep introducing myself like, hello, they call me iane because I need the D. Applications are submitted online, women need not apply.
I left when you were using your mug to lay on the street and ask for spare change
You cant use biscuit as a chaser
My parents get here at 6 so I have to make it look like a sober virgin lives in my room by 5.
You literally brought me back to life and then fucked it out of me
Randomize
