I'm drinking early times at a fridays on wednesday night. This entire bar is going to see my dick by last call.
Do you think you can get drunk by standing in a tank of vodka if it is seeping into your skin?
Second wave of rafting ended in a concussion. Don't worry though, the paramedic says it's still not considered a DUI.
You and Eric are like slutty bowling balls, and that poor family are the pins. They won't know what hit em.
strike, motherfucker.
idk, it started getting weird when they were looking up videos of lesbian giraffes
Get in your clown car, pick up everyone you know, and head to the park. drunk Sledding grand prix tonight. winner takes home the leftover beer
Her ex wouldn't stop texting her so she started replying with various pictures of Britney spears's breakdown
So shaving my butt whilst humming "be prepared" is now in my top five weirdest Friday night activities.
Do you guys think there will be a coke-for-Molly barder at bonnaroo?
if I blackout nd am found tomorrow w butterfly hairclips on my nipples and my habd down my pants tell my family I am sorry
My diet has been 80% Fun Dip this week, soooo, no. Not good.
I need to you to send me drugs via FedEx
I ran into a wall that clearly had things popping out. My eyebrow was bruised, both arms, the bottom of my foot. Lost half of my finger nail, my fake eyelash was stuck in my hair and I have about 47 blurry pictures of a half naked zombie DJ.
Damn him and his beautiful face and body and penis.
He bought me pizza and bourbon and played scrabble with me. So naturally I slept with him.
Randomize
