you can still come hang out if you want
I really don't feel like watching you play video games
Why did I call the Oregon Department of Transportation at 4:30 in the morning, and who did I talk to for three minutes?
I hate myself for knowing the words to party in the USA.
I'm passing your future prison.
Just gave advice in krystal burger while holding and pointing with a corona to a 3 year old, told her to enjoy her stroller time while it lasts. The mom pushed her away fast.
I hate that he uses me for something other than sex. What does he think I am? His girlfriend? Ha.
I gave up trying to understand them years ago. Now I'm just trying to fuck them.
We did shots with the Tupperware consultant last night. I'd say the night was a success.
No other way to put this but the dick was not worth him crying for an hour after. No more online hookups.
Lol he touched my butt after his grad party and a shooting star went by. No kidding. My ass is mystical.
Things were going really well until his cousin showed up. She told him I look kind of like his mom, which started a ten-minute debate on my and his mother's specific features, and ultimately, who is prettier. Guess who my date picked.
the best part is that i get to keep the pot plants and he still has my name tattooed on his ass
No you just wanted to pass out in your hallway because your room was too far away
All I'm saying is there better be a bow on your dick for my birthday
Do you realize we were driving someone else’s car and I was holding the wheel while you were driving and sucking my dick. That’s NOT normal
Randomize
