We succumbed to passion, and then he had to go meet his girlfriend. End of story.
Bristol Palin says: Remember to use protection
just woke up and this girl had my cellphone nestled in the front of her thong. i kept thinking "is this a trap?"
it's a little hard to watch the basketball games with my family considering they keep cheering for the guy that i had a one night stand with...
She introduced herself and then asked "have you ever fucked a girl with a cast?"
I made a google map for "places I got blow jobs"
her facebook pictures are like a timeline of all the guys she's screwed.
captain cockblock got me again last night so i put a squirrel in his room and jamed the door shut
He thought my hair would soak it up. I HAD TO CUT IT OFF.
What's it called where you go to the stripclub with two guys that have both gone down on you...
Tuesday
Dude. Went to buy some jack and sailor Jerry, when the guy at the counter realized it was my birthday everybody in the store including the stoners and the elderly sang to me. Then they gave me shots of moonshine. 21st bday was a success
Right when he asked me if I was on birth control my dad walked in. This is my fate.
I woke up at 5am to tell him I wanted to take his dick on la Tour de France, I might need a nap later
Please tell me I made it home with both shoes on
Nope
u ever get horny for food. i ordered a bunch of crepes and its doin it 4 me
Randomize
