I thought he was gonna sex me but then he ran to my bathroom and jerked off
Im listening to a jazz version of dick in a box.
it always starts out as a suggestion then three hours later I have cum in my eye.
You're so wise. You're like my sexual Grandmother Willow.
they're both coked to the gills having a shouting match about the powers and abilities of godzilla. and using the wikipedia entry on the topic to support their respective arguments.
And all I wanted you to do is stand there and sing who let the dogs out.
I'm still not a hundred percent.. I haven't shit anything solid in two days.. I have pulled my puker muscles and I can't take deep breaths cuz of other unidentified muscles/maybe heart attack
He told me to put on my big boy pants, then take them off and fuck her before he smacks me with a chair. His pep talks suck.
He wanted to feed hamburgers to the homeless... as a first date... who the fuck is this kid
That point of drunk where you're in a bar bathroom and you're like "F*ck you bra! I'm not taking your sh*t anymore! and you take it off and throw it in a trashcan.
Oh my lord it is too early in the morning to be that horny freak
my vagina doesn't wear a watch
Today in French class my teacher was singing "what does the fox say" so i started answering in similar satanic ritual noises
I need a costume
Dude just wear a bra or something hahaha
Your mission, should you decide to accept it, is to pick up rum, beer, and cigarettes. Your holiday will self-destruct if you ignore this message.
Grandma cant send me 4 lbs of gummi bears and expect me not to soak them in some sort of alcohol
Randomize
