She's the rare girl who loses weight and gets uglier.
please come get me his dick is out. i'm sitting on his couch and his dick is out. come now
Im like a co-bf. he pays for her birthday and christmas, but i get all the action.
I don't even want to think about the kind of person who would shit in the street before 10pm on a Sunday.
Just found an "inspected with pride" sticker on or around my vagina
Is "you left your socks here, please come get them" a good way of saying "come fuck me?"
Was I holding a cat when you saw me? Because that was the height of that party for me.
Don't mind the bowl full of ashes in the sink. I meant to set that on fire.
I just watched in amazement as you had a full conversation about water temperature and bacteria with your pet goldfish.
I smell like hot dogs and captain morgan it's 11:20 am what is my life
Sneaking the vodka in was the easy part.. listening to medley of puking in the porta pottys was not
Not now. Out of camp chairs. Carving a new one with a chainsaw. Mushrooms are starting to kick and I gotta get this done NOW.
I had sex in the back of a hot foreign guy with a lacoste eye patch's car
Every time I download Tinder again, I hate myself a little more.
Hey
Gfdhklhgfxzyuikl$
GODDAMNIT WHY AM I MISSING THIS
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