Omg. I just woke up in a room full of naked people
since i spend so many of my nights sleeping on the bathroom floor i think im going to remove all toiletries from under my sink and replace them with a pillow and blanket.
I'm deleting all the photos of dicks off my phone. This relationship could be serious
I'm in a hotel full of Marines. I'm leaving here pregnant.
You're a college freshman. Its your job to be pathetic. And drunk. But mostly pathetic
fact: I now appreciate my drunken winter self even more. I just found $20 in my winter coat with a note that says keep yourself warm next winter. I am awesome.
i was mezmorized. she was the most beautiful girl that looked like a boy i ever seen
Seriously, do normal people actually get work done being this hungover? No wonder the economy's in the shitter
you walked onto the street in the middle of the 10K in your thong. it was a whole new kind of expirience.
woke up to find i out made out with his roommate before hooking up with him. breakfast was awkward to say the least
You're going to find someone that you love very much and that loves you, and then you're gonna find an additional person that you literally can't stop staring at from across the room. I feel very confidently about that
She puked in the bed, peed in the closet, and woke up on a Rubbermaid in the closet under the stair case
My boss just texted me, clearly drunk, and said get down here pronto with a handle of rum, 50 lbs. of cold cuts, and a BB gun. This is not why I went to law school.
Dear Andy-the problem is not that I slept with your girlfriend, it's that you didn't know she's a lesbian.
where are you guys?
stoned at his house watching water boil
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