let's makeout let's makeout let's make out let's make out
broke, out of weed, out of gas, out of food, and my gf just left me.
you're writing country songs now?
He looks like the kind of guy that still collects pokemon cards
I'm on the bus going to class. And a cop just rolled by and I got nervous because I didn't have my seatbelt on. I have to stop smoking so much weed.
I Never golf you the sypdu of andrew. The one o will marry. The one j plwgded my last breath up. The one I pledged everything I live forbworh to. I love him more than life itself
I told her she has a very organized vagina; somehow she took offense.
Ok say I was sexually attracted to a patient who also happens to be in high school...on how many levels is that illegal? And will I actually hear the laws break when I fuck him
This baby is an asshole
Will the fact that I have 4 boob hickies add to or take away from tonight's outfit?
Shitty. Well if it makes you feel any better I just had a toothless wasted crackhead in my bar who was mad because there are TOO MANY FUCKIN TREES in Nantucket.
This stupid maranara sauce stain sucks. It keeps distracting me and it looks like I'm staring at my tits.
I offered to give him "road head" while he played GTA 5. I think he will be more optimistic about date night in the future.
Dude I'm driving around California right now hiding little bags of weed in random places like Easter eggs so that I can come back and find them later
Instead of a fine and a few hours in jail he chose to get tasered, break his neck and shit his pants
I am the most hated person in hoboken. Ive been doing drunken cake boss impressions down the street for the past 20 mins.
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