She told me she got a 15 on her A.C.T.. that's when I knew it was a done deal.
Watching NYC prep. Doing a shot everytime one of these d-bags flips his hair. I give it 10 minutes before alcohol poisoning set in.
she really just asked how mermaids reproduce.
explain to me why "crisis hotline lolz" is in my contacts?
I am literally too baked to press the call button. How am I supposed to bone him?
well when do great stories at the expense of people's relationships become a bad thing?
Every time she shows up on my newsfeed, I get the taste of tequila in my mouth.
They went to the hospital to try backflips in the parking lot. Be ready for the call
We were thinking he might be gay. Like how the fuck do you not even make out with a girl that made you a grilled cheese
He took the bartender's challenge and took a Jello shot with a tarantula frozen inside.
just had a very awkward conversation with the concierge at the hotel, they threw your underwear out
Late night whataburger runs are great, except if you're the one that gets left black out drunk puking in the backyard drinking from the water hose
The other day I was really high and I felt like my words were coming out of my mouth in flowers...I don't know.
Good News: There was a condom on the floor. Bad News: It was still in the wrapper
come on Dane.. ive been there. im like the female version of you, except with morals
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