My toast was "here's to being positive, and testing negative... Cheers!"... after that chick gagged on her shot, everyone knew.... slut.
yeah, we don't understand. the wings losing for guys is like girls finding objects in their body..just weird and sad
I can’t believe the potential orgy I left behind at Waffle House.
he made me salute his american flag boxers before i took them off
Even the bartender felt bad for me
BTW. If I show up really drunk and dressed a cowboy, don't be alarmed
she says she's going to shake me awake in 15min intervals if I pass out
this was your mom?
Let me put it this way - if I had a list of things I would like between my legs, she would rank below the cello I turned into firewood sophomore year.
I'm bringing Sergeant Single Slut out this weekend. I hope you're ready for her.
I smoked out of two pipes at the same time while my friends wielded the lighters last night. It felt like I graduated to the next level of stoner.
You should feel special! You're also the only person I've ever punched during sex
That awkward moment when your drug dealer pulls your boss out of the snow
The last thing I remember was them slipping shots into my beer bong, and me being happy about it
Nothing like having a family watch you dry heave at the end of the dock
Then you screamed in her face to shut up about thick thighs saving lives because actually they can suffocate people during oral sex
Drunk me is very safety conscious And apparently just as annoyed by her as sober me
Randomize
