are we going to glenview for practice??
(3 hrs later) aids
where r u? what is story? im way too high right now
Thats the last time I go out drinking with my Irish friends. Two shots of flaming sambucca = bar on fire. I was only trying to high five the barman.
Dude. Creed is coming in september.
We're no longer friends.
Sooo, drunk me had the sense of mind to write down everything that happened last night.....I bet you thought you'd get away with what you did to my parrot.
you said you didn't feel like drinking anymore so you mixed vodka with your applesauce and ate it
no you cant smoke seaweed
You know your in college when you use the receipt from the liquor store as a bookmark
Thanks for talking me down from peeing on his window last night.
I am now curious as to how you would have aimed.
2 more and I will have fucked 75 percent of my acting class. best. elective. ever.
Our foot and a bit height difference is kinda fun, except she's so tiny that after we ate burritos it looked like she was pregnant. I had a confusing bonner.
did you come by the house last night? I found a half eaten corn dog in the mail box.. I just figured you were drunk and needed somewhere to crash, but your no where to be found. I'll I have is this corn dog. call me when you get this. I'm worried! --mom
damnit. I just found my cousin on tinder.
You dropped a beer and it was like when wilson floated away. Complete with sobbing apologies
Shit, no womder she didn't wanna fuck me
And that facial hair. He might as well shave it so it spells "douche" on one cheek and "nozzle" on the other.
I'm glad I didn't see Grandma stumbling drunk and peeing herself...it would be like seeing my future.
Randomize
