Just got roadhead in a driving snowstorm. That shit should be a Winter X games event.
My valentine's day: watching The Notebook, and porn, eating chocolate, and ice cream. All while jacking off.
Wow... you've managed to cover all of the sad girl stereotypes that exist.
how in the hell can u get pulled over when ur car is parked.
I was working er so they smashed a vodka bottle over dan's head so they'd have an excuse to visit
He's in bed with me right now. I'm wearing a towel and all I could wish for is my freedom. And pizza.
I just spent 30 minutes cleaning out my coleman grill. Did you really have to have grilled yogurt?
Druken naked yoga : jus another ploy to keep your husbands eye in check
ALWAYS CAPS LOCK. IS THERE EVER A SITUATION THAT DOES NOT CALL FOR CAPS LOCK? NO.
Sexting? Sexting in caps lock seems rather unnerving.
I WANT YOUR BODY AND I WANT IT NOW.
I rest my case.
I'm going to pretend you don't watch My Little Pony and focus on your large cock. Kay? Don't bring it up again.
The spirit of America is being too hungover to celebrate America right?
looked up people from my old yearbooks. 3 ex boyfriends are gay. im getting drunk now.
I'm standing up, for my all my brothers and sisters, and fighting against whiskey dick.
Is she blowing you? I'm in the closet.
And then there was cum in my hair and he was making beans.
Right before he dumped me... he got a really ugly pair of pants. They were twill pants. A pinkish color. When I'm sad... I picture him in them. It makes me smile.
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