im ready to get crazy and take my wig off
Yeah, I tried playing the "see how long he can stay inside of me" game.. And I lost.
I think I've hugged the toilet more times than I've hugged my own family members.
..and it was like all of a sudden I could hear the sounds my brain was making
then he asked me if i wanted to "handle his wingman"
I just accidentally hit share on pornhub... Probably the scariest moment of my life
All together there was 318 cigarette butts in the pool... And my microwave.
Im going to bed. I'm seeing 7 of everything and my world smells like gravy
It's national boyfriend day supposedly, would it be appropriate if I posted a picture of my dildo?
I call him Seabiscuit because he's my trusty steed
I haven't been dieting for my entire life to date some guy who thinks his dad bod is a riot.
and you fell through a lawn chair
I know where his drugs are but not my pants
my alarm on my phone broke at the bar sooo i had to sleep with someone so i'd wake up on time for work.
Just fyi i'm now butt naked in a steam room smoking a bong in some guys house. i sense the weed penetrating my pores.
Randomize
