it's business casual sex. like no kissing, shake hands after, occasional frequency
he looks like a really good dad on facebook
Buying $100 worth of beef jerkey sounded like a terrific idea last night.
a bus full of elementary school kids may or may not have seen me pissing off my front porch this morning
It's one of the reasons i'm here, along with emotional support, physical support if you need it, and power orgasms.
I mean we've tried to get high on nutmeg, we clearly dont know the definition of "too far"
I feel like a monkey keeps fucking me in the ear with a trombone as a dick.
Ok here's the state of the situation: We're alone in a strange city with strange people with nothing but alcohol and sprite, I think we're gonna make it.
Sometimes I'm sad but then I realize that bagels.
In related news... Actually, nope. I don't have any orgy-related news. You win.
I dont have to work tomorrow im yelling gibberish at squirrels
Ugh... The hoe gods giveth and the hoe gods taketh away.
I dont know if hes kidding... but hes drunk and said hes going to shave his balls. Alert your emt friends
Yeah I knew you'd like him. He's emotionally and physically self destructive.
We would have so much to talk about!
There's a difference tho. *I* drink at seven in the morning because I work graveyards. YOU drink at seven in the morning cause you're an alcoholic.
Randomize
