sometimes i wish i had a whole other life to spend on youtube
I dont have enough money in my bank account to buy a pregnancy test. this wouldnt be the first time ive had to steal one either...
currently hungover, lying in bed and cutting cheese with my drivers license. ashamed? not even a little bit.
I expected to wake up with a sext of you posing nude and all I got was a missed call.....disappointed.
I'm sorry I think it was because I lost a chicken nugget in my purse and that's all that was on my mind until 4am
I woke up because a stranger was shoving an already lit bowl into my mouth. Spring break is awesome
Question. Was fucking Laura an entirely regrettable decision?
like...quickly.
id one day like to live in a world full of emotionless and wonderfully fullfilling sex...
This Pinterest wedding planning is a good distraction. I'm great at this, my imaginary wedding is beautiful
its 3am and I'm taking a bubble bath, this is what taking a day off work at 30 looks like
She kissed me, then said "mmm your face tastes like it needs my pussy on it."
I don't know if the fact that I carry lube in my purse means I'm living life right or I'm doing it wrong..
He fucked me over, so I'm going to do what any rational woman does. I'm going to get really high and have sex with his brother.
I used the line "you don't have enough pillows". Then left. Thought you should know.
sometimes you just have to listen to beyonce and cry. that's how life works
I smell like cotton candy and guilt.
Randomize
