Also, the republican called me again last night. He called me dumb and ugly then begged to come over. Gosh... he knows how to make me want him...
rough night. sneezed a watermelon seed this morning and apparently I drunk dialed my boss for a ride home. twice.
okay I'm thinking he doens't have a facebook...I'm on page 28 of Hunters
ok you need to stop NOW
Glad I put on jeans. You could measure my ass sweat with a rain guage.
Reindeer Drinking Games will soon commence. Get over here while we're still sober enough to answer the door.
i woke up to something itchy on my head. it was his mustache. he fell asleep face-plant style on the side of my head. WTF?
Here's my first problem: I'm drunk
FOund a bunch of old fireworks spring cleaning.
Who is our new insurance provider?
So wise, so handsome, so good at oral sex.
I'll have you know my trust issues and my daddy issues are two COMPLETELY different topics of conversation.
If they could bottle a hangover it would taste exactly like lemon lime Gatorade and failed hopes and dreams
so like what it comes down to is do I wanna look like a boss ass bitch or do I wanna masturbate.
When the dude you brought home from the bar on Thanksgiving leaves before you wake up ... #thankful
No, not if I told them not to. they listen to me. I have a vagina.
drunk me always erases text conversations because she is a woman of mystery and does not like for me to know what's going on in her life
Randomize
