I took my penis out way before I got to the bathroom and some dude kicked me out.
I hope I don't blackout because this is awesome!
and I asked her"are you allergic to condoms latex like your older sister " she said "Idk this is gonna be my 1time"
Shaving your vagina at 8 months pregnant is not an easy chore.
In hindsight, trust falling your grandma was a bad idea. Sorry about that.
Well if were past the bullshitting stage yes if not then no I'm not that kind of guy
until he told me my vag was like a juicy apple and he loved eating it, yes, i really did think we were both sober.
I had a great time except for the part where you called another guy, told him you were in a cab - not on a date - and that you'd meet him at a bar in 15 minutes. but besides that it was awesome. Next time capping you at two glasses of wine
You then showed up downstairs in only a robe, telling everyone how you were "the most chivalristic fratstar ever."
He put my hand on his penis and said welcome home.
If u ever apologize to me for "too-rough" sex again I will suspend ur all-access pass to my vagina indefinitely
I'm so cold without your freakishly high body temperature
that's the equivalent to a normal girlfriends. 'I miss you' btw
i think the realest test of our friendship is how hot your sister looks right now
I'm too depressed to masturbate. This election is the worst.
Just blew on a shot of whiskey to cool it off, like it was soup...
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