There's a girl in front of me with a see through white shirt on and her back says I suck bad dick. Fun night hun?
Her parents came home early, i had to hug her mom with a condom on...
the date was going great.. until he pulled down his pants and asked if there was any hair in between his cheeks.
He came on my chin and called me cumbledore. i give up.
It's like I'm in a vicious cycle of noncommittal penis.
There was a fucking SNAKE in the urinal. WHAT THE FUCK
Who knows? Maybe we can sing afternoon delight into each other's genitals.
I'm about to ride on a tractor i have no time for you
I disagree, if your last name is Weiner then the sending of dick pics should be mandatory. I'd give him a pass.
Our conversation concluded a weekly schedule of casual sex in between classes.
Well after we were arrested you just kept chanting "Like a good neighbor state farm is there"
Word my sister pulled through for me and brought vodka shooters for the plane. its about to be a sloppy 4 hours
Everything was going well until he very loudly said that he wanted to cum on my fingernails.
how do you make "fuck me in the break room" sound casual?
The morning after your company Xmas party and that moment you're eating a block of cheese in bed wearing a sequin blazer and recalling all the details of your one night stand with a coworker who happened to start that day...fuck.
Randomize
