so, totally just picked up a pack of red bull, and some magnum condoms and the old woman at the register's tone went from "hi blah how are you" to "oh....how YOU DOIN'?" she knew what was up
Scream out, "Tax-Free dick over here" in the bar. Ladies love tax free stuff
oh great. kentucky is ranked #1 in the country for child abuse. go us.
guess you're going to miss out on a groin massage and a frosty vagina
I'm not sure which is worse. The fact that I slept with him last night, or the fact that you did too.
We should tie ourselves together anytime there is any type of alcohol involved. It's the safest way. I either end up with freshmen or weird ex bfs. You end up with a large cowboy. This is not good for us
I never knew so many sexual things could be done while wearing footie pajamas
Please stop letting me make out with hot lesbians.
Definitely not. I may be your best friend, but first and foremost I am a guy. Please continue.
Apparently I told a girl last night, that's she's super beautiful and I don't want to fuck she just deserves being eaten out
Come in your red robin gear. If you smell like French fries we can make love.
Lab coat again saves the day - hiding embarrassing shart evidence...
He drunkenly stumbled over to me and told me my "crotch looks spectacular tonight"..... i think this could work
Mom just told me I need to start having sex.
He carried you out but the best part is you kept saying "can't I keep dancing" as you were gushing blood
Yeah. Of all the things to be cock blocked by a plague is the most unexpected.
Randomize
